So yes i have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome). I read on another blog that it should be POS (piece of sh*t) and that made me laugh out loud.
Basically as far as i understand this means i have cysts in my ovaries that make having a baby very difficult - amongst other things. I don't ovulate every month, and no ovulation means no baby.
I actually got to see my cysts during a procedure that i have blocked the name of in my memory as it was so painful. They inserted a catheter with a camera and a balloon into my uterus (i think) and inflated it so they could see the cysts on a screen. They let me see them too. It was weird and heartbreaking and like an out of body experience watching them in there.
I should have seen this coming. I had a cyst burst on my ovary at 14 and again at 24. So i feel like i should be looking over my shoulder now, seeing as i am 34....
I also had lots of other gross symptoms. Unexplained weight gain - almost 100 pounds in 15 years (that is a person!!), hair where you don't want it, depression, etc.
But i was on birth control pills and this made my periods regular so none of the doctors i complained to picked up on it.
And boy did i complain.
I kept going in and asking why I was gaining weight. I have Fibromyalgia (will get into that in another post) and this makes exercising vigorously very hard. So basically the dr's just kept telling me that i had to eat better and exercise more. Basically insinuating that i was eating copious amounts of food and lying to them about it. I started to cry out of frustration at one doctor's appointment and this prompted her to say i was depressed and gave me anti depressants. ummm thanks.
Not that they don't work for some people, but i had been avoiding taking a daily medication due to some horrible experiences with medication from fibromyalgia, so i didn't really want to be on an anti depressant when that wasn't the issue.
Well flash forward a few years and my new husband and i decided to have a baby. We had wanted one for a while but were waiting for when we were married. Mainly to make our families happy, and because we figured if we had a baby first we wouldn't be able to afford a wedding.
So once my cycle ended after my wedding i went off birth control. And that is when things started to go wrong. My first cycle was 35 days long. My next one was 64. then 16. And on, and on and on. I went to a new family doctor after 7 months of this. She said it sounded like PCOS and started me on metformin and ordered a glucose test.
Now i don't know if its just me but i don't mind the glucose drink! Reminds me of the orange drink that McDonalds used to supply at school sporting events. Just missing the waxy paper cup.
Anyway once on metformin I immediately lost 30 pounds. My doctor asked me what i was doing different and i said it was just the metformin coupled with my usual relatively healthy lifestyle. She seemed shocked by the weight loss. I was thrilled, of course. However this did nothing to regulate my periods.
I was then referred to an endocrinologist. Man she is a bitch!
She put me on a whole whack of hormones to try and balance things out. And she kept insisting i go to do this cycle monitoring course that is sponsored through a church. I refused as it cost a fortune and i had already been tracking my cycle for a year at this point (cervical fluid, basal body temperature, etc). She was very insistent. At every appointment she pushed it.
In the meantime she gave me dexamethasone, progesterone suppositories (yep!), metformin still and vitamins. I feel like i am forgetting something. I also tried random other treatments. But i will get into those in another post as well.
Every month getting my period was horrible as every month i was convinced i was pregnant. I mourned my sweet baby every single month.
Well after another year of trying we finally went and did the church tracking and low and behold 2 cycles later i was pregnant.
Not because of anything they did (sitting in a church meeting room and looking at pictures of cervical fluid isn't the aphrodisiac it sounds like). It was just a coincidence. And a build up of the hormones in my system. And the fact that we decided to take that month off of seriously trying so i was more relaxed. The previous month had been horrendous. I was convinced i was pregnant and then a friend accidentally got pregnant and told us the day i got my period. It was devestating.
Also i had finally convinced my endo to give me clomid which stimulates ovulation. I was refusing to fill the prescription until i got my period and it turns out i didn't need to. All i needed was that damn prescription paper in my wallet!
Well we got the good news the monday before christmas. Best. gift. ever.
This has spiraled into the story of how i got pregnant, but basically i just want people with PCOS to know there is hope. I had almost given up, but we now have a happy healthy beautiful little girl and i have hope that i will be able to do it again.
Hope is incredibly powerful.
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